| Friday the 13th |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|06:02 pm] |
I had a premonition this morning that something bad was going to happen to me. Do you want to know what I did? I made sure my bra and underpants were matching.
For reals.
Happy Friday! |
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| Twilight: The Movie |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|05:45 pm] |
In an effort to completely make the transition from adult into pre-teen I rented the move Twilight last night to see what all the hype was about.
Short answer: I don't really know. That Harry Potter kid who died two movies ago is pretty hot, though.
Long answer: There were at least three different times where I busted out laughing.
Instance #1: When she walks into her Biology class and a fan blows her "scent" towards Edward and he makes this "OH DEAR LORD WHY GOD WHY?!?" face as he mildly convulsed.
Instance #2: When Bella's dad is wheeling the Native dude in the wheelchair backwards up the steps.
Instance #3: Anytime she was hanging onto his back and he was flying. The worst was when he called her his little spidermonkey. That was some solid 5 minute laughter.
The plot literally made no sense. Basically, the main character is this socially retarded chick with long brown hair and somehow every man ever wants to throw his hotdog down her hallway. Like even old dudes - which was totally weird and creepy. And she's all, "Noooo I'm socially retarded and awkward and I like being alone and oohhhh haaaiiii who is that sparkly pale-faced dude?"
And her BFF's 4 LYFE who she literally just met 5 mins ago are all, "OHMIGOSH girl that's Edward and he's too good for any girl in this school. Don't even bother talking to him. /flips hair"
And then that scene where he vomits from her scent happens and she's all, "Oh man wtf?" and then she almost gets hit by some kid who is apparently driving 90 mph in the school parking lot but Edward flies to her and stops the car with HIS BARE HANDS and saves her.
And then it's a good 20 minutes of this:
Bella: Hey.
Edward: Hey.
Bella: Hey. Umm. How did...? I mean... You were... Like
Edward: I was standing right...next...to you. You...must have...hit your head.
Bella: No you weren't
Edward: Yes I was
Bella: No you weren't
Edward: Yes I was
Bella: No you weren't
Edward: Ok you're right
OH and then she goes out and a group of men coming out of a bar go to rape her (wtf???) and Edward drives in with his Volvo (lol) and saves the day by making her get in the car and then growling at them (I think he growled. I'm not completely sure because when that happened I was getting a glass of water.).
Ok and then they're in love and these other vampires show-up while she's playing baseball with his vampire friends/family and the new vampires want to eat her and OH WAIT NO I'm getting ahead of myself.
OK OK so THEN after she gets almost-raped her and Edward start going steady and he takes her to the woods and is all, "Oh man I'm a vegetarian because I only suck the blood out of animals." which, hello, does not make sense. Not that this movie does but still. Let's at least not change the definition of words. And she's all, "Oh Edward - I trust you not to eat me." And he's all, "Yeah but I want to eat you and I don't trust myself and heeeyyyyy let's fly in the woods I want to show you something." So I laughed and laughed as they flew through the woods to some sunshine and then he stepped into the sunshine and he was all sparkly and I laughed and laughed and she very awkwardly called him beautiful and all I could think to myself is how someone THIS awkward and completely lacking in personality is attractive to anyone. Especially a vampire. If I was a vampire I would have sucked her blood and killed her but I digress.
SO whatever whatever fast-forward JUEGO DE BEISBOL AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI! Bad vampires show-up and smell the delicious Bella. Edward is shaking with rage at someone hurting his beloved snack. They then drive Bella to Phoenix, AZ from Washington State in apparently two hours or something.
Bella then gets a phone-call from one of the bad vampires saying that he has her mom at the old ballet school she used to go to. She shows up and hears her mom. But it's not really her mom. It's a VCR tape of her with her mom from when she was 5 which kind of makes NO SENSE because:
1) How did the vampires get to her mom's house and get the tape before they even got there?
2) Ok let's say they fly at the speed of light - How did they even know where her mom lived?
3) WTF kind of home video has Bella's mom calling Bella's name over and over and over again in a panic-striken voice?
At any rate, it's an old home movie of her and her mom and she's all, " "
And the bad vampire kind of throws her around a little and then Edward comes. But OH NO Bella cuts her femeral artery on a mirror AND the bad vampire dude bites her so she's dying from the blood loss AND becoming a vampire from the venom that the bad vampire injected in her. So Edward's dad (oh yeah the rest of the family shows up and kills the bad vampire) is all, "EDWARD YOU GOTTA SUCK THE POISON OUT OF BELLAS ARM." I'm not even going to talk about the fact that apparently vampires can bite people without injecting their venom into them because apparently vampires can control their venom glands unlike any other venemous creature on the planet. YES I realize vampires are not real but COME ON.
SOOOOOO he's sucking the venom out and loses his mind and starts feeding on her and his dad is like, "EDWARD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." and Edward stops and Bella wakes-up in the hospital and she loves Edward and Edward loves her.
The End.
OH I forgot to mention there's this other character named Jacob who I'm PRETTY SURE is a werewolf but he was not really important. |
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| ROFL WoW Macros! |
[Sep. 1st, 2009|03:11 pm] |
I'm home sick. I caught some terribad cold from god knows what. And WoW is down for maintenance until 5pm EDT!! OH NOES WHATEVER SHALL I DO.
Oh I know! Let's post our favorite WoW macros and/or hilarious pics!
( Read more... )
You guys who don't play WoW you can just post hilarious macros. I'd be OK with that.
Edit: Gmail is down too. WTF? |
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| AMG |
[May. 21st, 2009|11:39 am] |
YOU GUYS I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT FLEET WEEK IS STARTING. MONICA MAKE SURE TO WAVE HELLO TO THEM FOR ME.
I like to look (but not touch). Alas, I'll be in Canada. |
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| VOMITORIUM |
[May. 20th, 2009|01:19 pm] |
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There was a dead ladybug in my salad from Panera. I had already eaten half of it. /barfs |
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| HOLY MOLY GUACAMOLE |
[May. 14th, 2009|06:06 pm] |
You guys will NOT believe the crazy month I just had. It was like ups and downs and so much IRL drama that I felt like I was in an episode of Melrose Place. OH but NOT the episode where the two chicks fight in the pool. More like the episode where Marcia Cross goes crazy and tries to kill that chick and then she goes into the bathroom and she PULLS HER WIG OFF and you see that MASSIVE SCAR and you were like 12 all "EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" not realizing that that crazy look she had in her eyes would be looking back at you at the age of 29.
And did you guys watch Lost??????? I won't ruin it in the post but IF PEOPLE WRITE IN THE COMMENTS ABOUT LOST ITS NOT MY FAULT. I loved the episode last night although I would have liked some more Jears and then maybe a spaceship to come down and have some aliens abduct and/or kill Kate. Stupid Kate. Oh and I felt like I finally *got* Lost. Hooray for me!
I still play the World of the Warcraft. Pewpewing on my lock. Since the 3.1 patch my computer has been limping along in terms of graphics performance so in the past month I've purchased a new video card and a new power supply. I'm installing the power supply tonight. Hopefully I do not electrocute myself and/or kill my computer. My lag in 25-man raids is so bad I have to actually guess where things are happening or where my toon is going to be. I HAVE TO PREDICT THE FUTURE TO PLAY WOW LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAQS7pdjVU4
Our guild is number one on the server but still behind where I would like to be in terms of progression. COMPUTER GAME 2 TUFF 4 SUM PPL. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 4th, 2008|11:08 pm] |
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WE FUCKING DID IT!!!!!!! |
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| CAPITALIST PIG!!! |
[Sep. 24th, 2008|06:02 pm] |
So I was chatting with my Australian friend and I mentioned that I was craving a chicken sandwich from McDonalds and he went into a whole tirade about how McDonalds represents the worst of capitalism and how could I eat in such a place??? and JESUS CHRIST CAPITALISM IS BAD MMKAY!
I was like, "Hellooooooo I live in America."
He said, "Oh that's right. Nevermind then."
I lol'd. Who knew people had such angry feelings about capitalism? |
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| THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|01:08 pm] |
I have three confessions I have to make:
1) I will probably buy the Sex and the City DVD movie and I promise you I will cry like a baby when Miranda meets Steve on the Brooklyn Bridge.
2) I really like that song by Kid Rock that sounds like Sweet Home Alabama or whatevs. Kind of reminds me of Michigan and of my aunt's cabin on Lake Michigan.
3) I buy US Weekly. It's because it's hilarious and I like all the AMG IS SHE ANOREXIC????!?!!?!? stories. Ok it's because I love celebrity gossip. :(
Why is US Weekly so hilarious?
From an article talking about Jennifer Lopez's triathlon in the morning and husband's birthday party that night (and I quote):
Most surprising: She spent the entire evening in heels and there was "zero hobbling," an onlooker tells US.
lol. Yes, zero hobbling in heels is, indeed, the most surprising part about J. Lo running a triathlon. |
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| Writer's Block: Autumn Begins |
[Sep. 22nd, 2008|12:05 pm] |
I'm seriously beginning to believe that the person who is writing the questions for Writer's Block is my old 6th grade teacher. I can't even remember her name she had so little impact on my school career. Only thing I do remember is when she tackled some chick who was running out the door with a box-cutter to go stab some other chick that was standing in the hallway. LOL and the best part was after that chick got tackled she started crying. HELLO YOU WERE ABOUT TO STAB SOMEONE.
But I digress...
Is Autumn more of a season in itself? Who asks that?? Of course it's a fucking season in itself. And why would it being a transitory period make it any less of a season? DUMB QUESTION IS DUMB.
Did anyone watch the Emmys? I personally was like TL;DR. |
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| lol |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|12:33 pm] |
O HAI GUYS.
Work is good.
Life is good.
Hubby still in Canada and I miss him but we're good.
The internet (and the people on it) are still amusing.
Skeletor is still annoying.
The laundry still doesn't do itself (why not??????).
I bought of copy of "O" which is Oprah's magazine. I thought it might have some interesting articles since I powered through my Vogue and Vanity Fair for this month (I'm sorry but that black Balenciaga cocktail dress is not my favorite look for this fall and LOL @ VF backing up my statement that Putin is crazy).
Anyway, "O" is kind of patronizing to be honest. I flipped through it and read some of the articles and I just felt like I was being preached at. Maybe the Oprah-bots like being spoken to that way but I was all, "Let me draw my OWN conclusions." and "O Hai you don't have to spell out the moral of the story! Not that hard to get!"
So, I probably won't be buying it again. Oh well. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|11:51 am] |
I left the ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) newyorkers community because it's filled with a bunch of self-righteous blowhards.
http://community.livejournal.com/newyorkers/4302900.html
I thought the post was rather interesting and kind of cool but the comments are just ridiculous. I've been a member for over four years and it's like every fall we get a whole new slew of people who move there to ~follow their dreams~ and just ruin it for the rest of us.
OH OH and people who are like "DUR HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE WAS A VAGRANT OR NOT? I DRINK BEER ON THE SUBWAY TOO AND IM EMPLOYED." Umm...if you've lived in the city for, oooh I don't know, more than a week, you can tell the difference between a homeless person drinking a beer at 8am on a train and a dude drinking a beer. REALLY not that hard.
Anyway, I left and I can't comment anymore in there which is fine by me.
EDIT
I can't stop laughing at this |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2008|04:12 pm] |
Ok for serious I don't get RPing on WoW. Seems like way too much work.
Plan for this evening:
Drink beers |
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